In general, the BDSM community has developed two main philosophies as guidelines for safe play. They are described by the acronyms SSC and RACK. If we break these acronyms down we will better see their intended coining.
SSC
• S-Safe
• S-Sane
• C-Consensual
RACK
• R- Risk
• A-Aware
• C-Consensual
• K-Kink
Let’s go further and try and describe, each of these words in context.
Safe, Sane and Consensual ("SSC") is a construction coined by slave david stein, a gay man in NYC. He did it to explain to the vanilla world the difference between what we do and abuse. Anyone who uses it for any other reason is using it incorrectly. slave david would agree with whomever said that rules are what people consent to.
Safe: Free from harm. All necessary precautions that can be taken for a particular activity have been taken. Sounds good. Now define safe for yourself. Define safe for everyone else that engages in BDSM. Therein lies the catch with Safe, its impossible to come up with an even close, satisfactory universal definition that covers anyone other than you. What one person considers safe another may think is not only unsafe as it applies to them but damn close to insane as well. Single Tails, Cutting, Needle Play and Brandings are just a few of the activities that some of us engage in, that many others find beyond their limits and thus unsafe for themselves.
Sane: This is another tough one to define. Sane to most of us means that we have clear mental facilities at the time that we are engaging in any BDSM activity. Sounds good. Sane is rarely applied to any activity, so like Safe; Sane is left to the individual. What one person considers to be a sane activity others may think it completely crazy.
Consensual: This is an easier one and not as subjective or ambiguous. When the people involved in any BDSM play activity are informed consenting adults and that consent has not been obtained under duress.
RACK has not been around as long as SSC and to me seems a little more subjective and ambiguous.
Risk: What are some of the things that can go wrong, even with the best of planning and at the hands of the most experienced. Risk does not imply Safe; it implies that there can be dangers that have to be weighed before engaging in any activity. Isn't most if not all of what we do dangerous to some degree? I think so.
Aware: Aware means that after weighing the risks to the enjoyment and benefit of the activity one can make an informed decision.
Consensual: Same as above.
Kink: This implies that what we do is somewhat outside the mainstream. What I consider to be kinky another may consider it to be boring and mundane.
Both of these philosophies are widely open to interpretation of each individual who chooses to engage in BDSM. Although at first they appear to be similar in design, the only true similarity between them is Consensual.
I personally combine the two philosophies and in addition I am going to coin my own Acronym to further describe my own philosophy of BDSM. F.A.C.E.
• F- Feels Right
• A-Acceptance
• C- Communication
• E-End
Feels Right: Does the activity I am engaging or about to engage in “feel right”. Does it feel emotionally right. Do I have a weird feeling about it. Will I have any remorse. Will I be able to live with myself.
Acceptance: Do I accept the activity that I am about to engage in on my own volution without any duress. This is a little ambiguous but for me it works. Do I accept it to be safe to my standards.
Communication: This is a big one for me. All persons need to communicate and fully understand the limits and fears involved and respect them, and what is ok and what is not.
End: Each party needs to be able to end all activity without any retribution at anytime for any reason, hence the need for a “safe word”.
I have engaged in activities that combined the principals of both SSC and RACK but not my own FACE principles. For this reason it not only made me feel bad but also you Mistress.
If I would have adhered to my own standards and principles it would have never happened. Allow me to break it down and compare it to my own philosophies compared to that of SSC and RACK.
One afternoon, I decided to pierce my penis, needle play. Arguably it met all the standards out lined under both Safe Sane and Consensual, and Risk Aware Consensual Kink. To me it was safe and sane, It was consensual, I was doing it myself, and I was aware of the risks, health and safety wise, and it was a Kink.
Now enter my FACE principles. Feels Right: First off it did not feel right. If I followed this right off the bat it would have ended there. It did not feel right for several reasons. The biggest was that you specifically said not to do it. Even if this was ignored it would have ended on the communication part. You communicated that you did not wish me to do it. So there is two out of the four principles and none of us ended up happy.
Even a greater reason for not doing it should have been that I am your sub. Mistress said not to do something and I went ahead and did it. This not only showed you disrespect, but undermined the principles and ideals that we have both set out to define in our D/s relationship. We both have high standards.
When I started to write this essay, it did not intend to be an apology, but I am comfortable in the fact that it has turned out to be. By analyzing my actions and applying them to my own standards, principles and philosophy, I became even more aware and accountable for my own poor decisions and how they affect others, especially you, Mistress.
Copyright 2007. Permission must be granted before publishing this article in any manner. mistressnev@gmail.com
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